Rise Above the Fear

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I recently was doing a reading for a client when the Fairies spoke this nugget of wisdom: “Humans who are not empowered use fear and crazy behavior to try and control those around them. When you rise above that energy, out of the fear, they cannot control you.”

In my experience, when you start setting boundaries, the people who have been benefiting from you not having boundaries will start to act out. This can be conscious, but it also happens subconsciously. We humans have trouble with change. So, it can be difficult to make the decision to create a boundary in the first place. Once you do, those around you will try old and new tactics to gain a sense of control. Generally, this is because they feel unsafe in the new dynamic. You can be compassionate and still hold your boundary.

When you create a boundary, make sure it is set knowing what you are willing and not willing to do. It is not about changing the other person's behavior, just your participation in their behavior. You must know what you will do if someone does not respect that boundary. Look for the best path to detach yourself from the situation. This can be easy to do when dealing with someone who is well-meaning, but unconscious or unaware of their behavior. This is harder to do with someone who is narcissistic, controlling, or manipulative.

These types of people are not interested in your best interest no matter how much they may say or even think they are. These types are merely looking to take care of their own feelings, wants, and desires at the cost of everyone around them. They may suffer from addiction or other mental disorders that exacerbate the situation. Often, it is our own fear that drives us to keep engaging in codependent behavior with them. I don't mean to demonize anyone who is like this. They, too, are suffering and it is why they are acting out in this way. You can have compassion for their suffering without enabling toxic behavior.

To rise above the fear, as the Fairies said, is really the only way out of those dynamics. Do you fear being punished by their anger or behavior? Do you think you cannot live without them financially, emotionally, or spiritually? Do you think you can't survive in the world alone? I would like to point out that rarely is anyone truly alone. Most people have jobs, family, friends, neighbors, that even if they are distant, could be called upon if needed. Also, if you were alone for a while, you might start to find like-minded people.

Even the most peaceful, spiritually-centered people can fall victim to codependency. In fact, I find it is often the people who are not trying to judge and love the world unconditionally that fall into these situations. It is good and generous to want to help and care for others. I'm not suggesting that you cut people off that need help or to stop being kind. You have to look honestly at your relationships. If you are honestly helping someone, then they are as invested in it getting better or reaching their goal as you. If you are being kind you shouldn't feel like you have been slapped in the face when you are done. Compassion and kindness have to start with yourself. You have to respect yourself enough to know your value. If someone does not value you and continues to take from you while also putting you down or making you feel shame, there is no kindness in that situation.

You deserve peace, love, kindness, and compassion. When you rise above the fear, you can see the Divine meaning behind the situation or relationship. You open yourself to guidance from the Universe of your next highest and best step. You gain clarity about what you want and deserve. It is freedom in surrender and peace within the chaos. You may not be able to change it all immediately, but you can start to shift gently forward, and soon you will find your way out.

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April 2019 Fairy Message

I am continuing the Monthly Energy Messages with April. It is short and sweet because it is all about trust this month. Being real about who you can or cannot trust. Being willing to trust The One. Being willing to accept that your dreams could come true, and also question if they are what you want. When I did year-long readings for people, it seemed like April was going to be a great month, or at least a turning point, for many. Here's what The Fairies have to say:

Be the Fool! Naiveté does not make you stupid. Do not be so wise that you miss the opportunities because you think you know better. Your overthinking, over analyzing brain has you convinced you know all the options and see all the paths forward. April reveals a path you never thought possible or you couldn't even imagine. When you see it, do not hesitate. You may feel unworthy, or not trusting, or think it is a trick. Stay open, be the fool, and follow the guidance you are receiving. This all leads you to an amazing experience and it expands your consciousness again. God/Source/The One/Universe is carrying you forward. Allow yourself to be carried. There is no need to struggle. You can thumb wrestle The One all you want, but it won't stop the path; it will just make you more tired when you arrive. Let April bring you adventure of the best and most rewarding kind.”

-The Fairies

Miracles

I have had people ask why I don't have testimonies on my site or talk about what has happened for others through my healing work. The truth, is I want every experience to be your experience. It doesn't matter what happens for another, only what happens for you. I have experienced miracles in healing sessions. I have had clients, friends, and family that have healed broken bones, headaches, migraines, insomnia, heart problems, allergies, rashes, and many emotional crisis. I also have had clients, friends, and family work on those issues and still struggle with them. I get to be a witness to the healing and help direct it some, but it is that person and God making it happen. Not me.

The biggest miracle I have witnessed was when my mother fell. She had a brain bleed. We rushed her to the hospital and while there, she had a grand mal seizure. She was air lifted to a hospital in Seattle. They did emergency brain surgery and took a half a cup of blood off her brain. After the surgery, they had her in a drug-induced coma because she was having constant nonclinical seizures. My dad had stayed with her the first night. The second night, I went to relieve him. I brought her big quartz crystal and laid it next to her in the bed. I contacted multiple healing circles I knew and asked for prayers and light sent. I spent the whole night doing Reiki and ThetaHealing. I didn't care if any nurses or doctors saw me and wondered what I was doing. The seizures stopped and they stopped the drug-induced coma. The doctors told us the outlook was grim and they were not sure if she would live. If she did, they weren't sure when she would be able to talk or use her limbs, if ever. They didn't know how much brain damage she had experienced. They didn't want us to be surprised if she was stuck in the hospital for a long time. I kept going. I just went into full healer mode. The next day she woke up, confused about why she was tied down and why there were tubes in her. I started talking to her and explaining what had been happening. She understood. She was totally conscious. Within a day, she had total control of her arms and legs. She had a lot that needed to heal, but within a couple months, she was completely back. Every doctor that had her as a patient has told her she was a miracle.

This is also why I talk about using both western medicine and alternative measures. I don't know that I could have stopped the brain bleed. Anything is possible, but I'm not willing to take that gamble. Also, the body is able to heal itself miraculously. When we hold space for God and witness it and trust, healing can happen.

March 2019 Message from The Faries

Today I continue the Monthly messages from The Fairies. You can read last month's here if you like. I went back and read it tonight and was amazed at how much it summed up my February perfectly. This makes me a little worried about March. Buckle up your seat belts and hold on to your magic. This rollercoaster is about to take off. If you did the hard stuff in February, then this will have lots of excitement. If you have been running from the change, you will be cornered and have to face it. Here is what the fairies have to say:

March can be a mischievous trickster. It will have you twisting and turning through a maze of experiences, but it is actually releasing you from old programming which you have been trapped in. Do not react, but instead let it unfold. What may seem devastating at one moment will be your greatest gift. There will be a lot of transition Universally on the Earth plane. Deaths, births, shifts in power, and unexpected events. These will come from a place of Truth being revealed and layers being released. You will experience grief and relief. You will experience confusion and joy. The sun will be shining down on humanity and illuminating all that has been in secret, hiding, and shrouded by pain or denial. Keep pulling back the veil to see the truth that lives in your heart. By the end of the month, you may be dizzy from the twist and turns and need to just stop and take in your new surroundings. Please know, whatever you release, or whatever falls away, no longer serves you or your path. Your destiny is waiting.

-The Fairies

Physical Weight is Connected to Emotional Weight

I have never considered myself a binge eater. I have never sat down and polished off a whole container of cookies or ice cream. I think the closest is almost eating a whole bag of chips once or twice. I also wasn't one to be sad and shovel food into my face. I'm sure my food consumption was effected by my emotions, but usually it was that I would get stressed or depressed and not eat all day. I have seen these behaviors in my family, as well as extreme dieting and yo-yo dieting, so I have tried to be conscious about my relationship with food.

After my first marriage and two pregnancies, I was overweight. Once I left him and started living my life the way I wanted to, I quickly dropped all the weight. No diets or exercise or any conscious choices. I remarried and had another child and easily lost that pregnancy weight. About a year after my daughter was born, I started having several issues that would take me years to figure out were Adenomyosis. One of these issues was weird weight gain. Over the course of several years, I gained a little over fifty pounds! I tried many things to shift the weight but nothing was working. January 29th 2018, I had a hysterectomy and assumed that once I had healed some, the weight would fall off. By June, it was pretty clear that was not happening. At that same time, the company I had been an independent consultant for was bought by another company and they had some weight loss supplements. I decided to try one called Burn since I obviously needed help. Amazingly to me, it worked.

I became more active and have had bouts of exercise, mostly Yoga, and only in the last couple weeks have I adjusted my diet at all. This was to help with a gallbladder issue. Still the weight came off and as of right now, I am 20 pounds lighter than I was in June, which is nice. Also healthier and stronger from the Yoga. So, I should be on cloud 9, right? Instead, I am angry and sad. As the weight comes off, its like layers of emotions rise to the surface.

A lot has happened in my life over the last 8 years and it feels like I am having to relive the emotional impact of them again. My mother had two brain surgeries and I became her full-time caregiver. Stress about my three children and all that comes with being a mother. Family issues since my husband, children, and I moved into my parent’s house where my two younger brothers live (they were only teenagers at the time). Heartache around friends and family I have had to let go from my life. Layer after layer. I have been angry at family, myself, God, The Fairies, and this spiritual path. I have felt sad and lost. Instead of feeling it at the time, I was in survival mode. I was pushing over those feelings and trying to keep my head out of water, and when that didn't work anymore, I was just learning to breathe underwater.

I once heard a powerful mother talk about taking care of her fatally ill child and doing everything possible to keep her alive a little longer. She said when the diagnosis came in and all the information about care, it was like trying to drink from a fire hose. It was the best description I had heard of my own life. I feel like I repeatedly have had to try to drink from a fire hose while it's pointed right at my face. I think many of you reading have your own version of drinking from a fire hose. The trauma, stress, and pain we feel that is so overwhelming we just shut down and do what we need to do to survive. Then we blame ourselves and beat ourselves up for not being thin enough, healthy enough, or successful enough. We forget to give ourselves credit for doing the hard things. The hard thing might be just getting up in the morning when all you want to do is break down and cry. Sometimes basic functioning is a success and you should give yourself credit for it.

So, if you are struggling with weight, I would suggest looking at the feelings you are stuffing even if you don't fit that stereotypical emotional binge eater. You can find the Burn in the store page on this site if you are interested in that. I have had two aunts that also have had success with it. Mostly, be gentle with yourself. It can be hard to find your sparkle, and every time you love yourself, you get a little more shimmer.

February Message from the Fairies

Well January was a real shit show! I personally went through some hard times, as well as about every person I spoke with. When I looked back on the new year message from The Fairies, I realized that they had snuck in a message about January by itself. They said it was a month for grieving (did lots of that), finishing up energy from 2018 (check), and looking at what we wanted to bring into the physical for 2019 (did that, too). For me, I felt January was about clarity. Clarity about myself, relationships, and what I was willing to put the effort into or not. The funny thing is all that clarity made me feel even more lost. We can cling to our old ideas, stories, and limitations so strong that we can't see the other side some times. That's okay. I've been hearing about February energy being easier. I think it will be, but it will also depend on you. Have you created the boundaries to support yourself? Are you willing to do the scary things and step out of your comfortable reality that isn't working anymore? The answers to those questions will dictate how much you can flow with the energy. It is more gentle and flowing but if you are trying to swim upstream, it will feel hard. Here is what the Fairies had to say about February 2019:

Humanity likes to connect this month with love, which is perfect for this year. You will open your heart and experience deep love, especially for yourself. It is time to stop wearing the costume of other's opinions and stories about you. It is time to return the hurt you have been carrying for someone else thinking it was your own. It is time to forgive the pain you experienced, which is just an echo of pain from the past of those you think hurt you. When you Humans talk about self-love and self-care, you hear a lot about boundaries and saying no. These are good things, but that is just reacting to others. It is time to stop reacting to others feelings and actions and instead deeply love yourself no matter what. It doesn't matter if someone else has found value in you, you need to value your life energy. It doesn't matter if others like you, respect you, or judge you. You need to respect yourself and stop judging every little thing you do. Your power comes from self-love. Stop trying to be right for everyone else around you. Instead, feel that you are alright, right now. No one can take that away from you. You can only give that away. Love the Divine being that is you so you can overflow with it and then share it with the world. Be love. Build that fire in your belly because it’s about time you let it fuel you and move you forward.

The Fairies

The Blessing in Pain

My cousin was murdered. It's a weird sentence to say or write. She didn't just die. It wasn't illness or an accident that took her from us. It was the decision of another person to end her life. She was murdered a week ago. I have had a whole week to try to process this information and I still am having trouble getting my brain to accept it. No matter the amount of spiritual and self-help work you do, you can't always accept everything that happens.

I could make this post about my anger. It could be about how angry I am that our country has not done enough to stop this kind of thing from happening. I am angry about the state of gun laws, of violence against women, about the lack of support and protection for women in dangerous circumstances, the lack of mental health opportunities, and how voices are silenced. I am angry at the man who took her life and then his own. I have even been angry at God and all the powers of the Universe. Being spiritual doesn't stop you from being angry at times.

I could make this post about grief. How, no matter who you are, you will have versions of the stages of grief when you experience loss. That grief is not just feeling sad but feeling everything. You cycle through anger, sadness, numbness, peace, joy, and then back again. In fact, it's like being bounced around from emotion to emotion with no sort of order to follow. Grief is an experience that you move through and just keep moving through and it keeps changing. No amount of guidance or meditation will stop this.

Instead, I want to talk about pain. We try to stop the pain in ourselves and in others all the time. If we see someone crying or expressing discomfort, we ask how we can make it stop. We try to stop our own pain. We use drugs (prescription or not), alcohol, food, entertainment, sex, and whatever will shift our mood for a moment to escape it. We want to numb out and tune out. This is a natural response. Pain often means danger or death or a sign that something is wrong. Of course the natural response is to avoid it. Pain is also a doorway for us to walk through. Every painful experience has led me to new growth with my soul, deeper meaning in my life, a new understanding of myself and the world around me, and the birth of something new.

Pain brings truth, clarity, and brings us right into the present moment. That can sometimes be the cause of the pain. If we are in denial and avoiding, then we don't even realize what the pain is about. We might blame others or pretend to be happy when inside we feel like we our drowning. When we allow ourselves to sit with the pain, we can start to release and find peace. It is often our resistance and fighting or shoving the pain down that causes the pain to be so harsh. Emotional pain and physical pain can be better if you can relax into it. Let the tears flow. Let yourself wail if you need to. Open yourself to release the pain and birth forward something new.

The pain is a blessing, too. It means we are alive! It means we are experiencing life at its fullest. It means we are being honest with ourselves and living in alignment with our true feelings. The pain is only temporary when we feel it. This allows it to morph and change. It is holding onto pain and trying not to feel it that keeps it around forever. That said, there are some pains that will never fully leave, but we can embrace them as part of ourselves and make peace still. So, please feel your pain, embrace it, make peace with it, and watch it transform you.

2019 New Year Message from The Fairies

I have spent a lot of time the last week doing 12 month oracle readings for people (if you want to find out how to get your personalized reading, click here), and I noticed some re-occurring patterns of energy for 2019. I thought I should get the Fairies’ take on it, but I wanted to share how I was seeing the energy flow first. January is a tying up of 2018 and/or a preview for 2019. Some are experiencing one or the other and some are experiencing both. Pay attention and tie up those loose ends. Whatever issues come up will be probably a cycle for the year for you. April is when the energy gets turned on full blast. This is a turning point, a time when things really manifest in the physical, you get clarity, and/or you start the big journey of the year. The energy heats up in July and August. By October, it mellows again and has a bit of a magical sparkle to it. Things flow a little easier. The end of the year is kind of a bang, but not as intense as April. More like a completion and/or greater clarity. I personally find that knowing the energy flow helps me navigate the ups and downs of my personal life. I hope it helps you also. Here is what the Fairies have to say about 2019:

This year will be an opening of the eyes. The chaos of the last two years will start to make sense. Spend January releasing and grieving. Grieve the end of your victim-hood. Grieve the end of your old way of being. Grieve the relationships you had to let go of and the fantasy you had about the future. 2019 has no room for these.

This year is about tending to the garden and then harvesting. This is a year of action and less struggle. You planted the seeds and now the sprouts are emerging from the dark. You will need patience because the harvest doesn't really come till the end of the year. You have been energetically pushing against a heavy cloud for the last couple years. That cloud lifts in the spring and you start to feel the ease. Especially if you did the inner work in 2018. You will have things magically coming together. You will still be working hard in 2019, but it will produce more results than before.

Again, the word for the year is action. You must take action on your dreams and goals. The Universe will bring forward more manifestations for you. Amazing breakthroughs that you never even dreamed possible will happen. Stay open to the possibilities while you stay present.

Approach this year with curiosity. You may have goals and ideas about where you are headed but you will be surprised at how this expands your awareness and your knowing of self. Last year was about inner expansion. Clearing out the old within to be more centered. This year is about expanding that knowing into the physical world and expanding your perception as well as the perception of you.

Open your eyes.

Take action.

~ The Fairies

Solstice Message from the Fairies

The Fairies came forward in ritual tonight and wanted me to share a message on the solstice.

We Fairies have watched Humanity struggle in their paradox this year. Your reality is one of contrasting opposites, yet you seek one truth. You have opposing ideas and beliefs, yet you wish to unite and love each other as one people. It can be difficult to long for the connection of others while also trying to not lose yourself. Your internal conflict manifests as outward conflict. Both are being sorted out. This year you were brought a lot of clarity. Now that you know who you are and what you want to create, it is time to create it. Stop looking for the perfect time, scenario, or person to make it happen. You need to decide in your heart it is time and do what appears in front of you. Stop giving your power away to intangible circumstances. We are putting this call out for those who are ready to hear it. The time is now!

We are ready to aid in co-creating the new reality of Humanity. It is up to you to show up and do your part. Today is the least light in a day, but it is when the light grows brighter every day from now on. This is very symbolic for your Earth right now. Humanity has come through what many would describe as a very dark time, but it has hit its peak. Now you will start to have more light each day. That light comes from all of you who are reading this. The dark and light have no meaning unless they are witnessed. You must now turn your face to the light and focus. You must shine your light and witness it in the world.

Do you BELIEVE? That is what is important. You do not have to believe in us. You need to believe in yourself. You need to believe your reality has shifted and is ready for you, to support you, and to become something more peaceful and fun. Actively seek out what is peaceful and fun. That feeds your soul, opens you to the flow, and creates more peace and fun in your reality. Call on us. We are here to help.”

The Fairy Council

Relationships

This started as a post on Facebook. It had so much interaction that I decided to expand it into a blog.

I just watched an advertisement that made me worry for other females. If a man is ignoring you, showing signs of disinterest, or wanting to break up with you, trying to find a way to “trick” him into it is not going to benefit you. This woman was selling a text message system that will “make him obsessed and addicted” to you. Who wants that?! Someone obsessively calling and texting you is not fun. No matter how much you like them, it will wear on you. We live in this society that makes women think that they want someone who focuses only on them, but someone without their own life has nothing to share with you.

How about we stop pushing stereotypes that women have to manipulate men to try and control them into being committed? Or the stereotype that men are sex-crazed fickle beings who always want something new and shiny? It's like women are supposed to find the best beast and trick him into a cage. Is that really the way you want to start a relationship?

Also, the reference cases that she used said things like “he was cute and a doctor, total package right?” and described another as “handsome, rich, and made all her friends jealous” as if these were describing the perfect man. Is he funny, kind, smart, self-aware, socially aware, or do they even like each other? I don't know. She didn't cover that. I think both sexes are sent the message that being sexually desirable is the most important thing. For women, that is generally physical appearance and for men it is about money and status and/or physical appearance.

Our society loves to push the idea that once you get someone to commit romantically to you that you're happy and your life is fixed. Plus, this should be the focus of your life if you’re not in a relationship. It’s such BS. If we spent half as much energy and time, as a society, on self-development that we do on how to snag a partner, we would be a different society.

I will give you a free system that will totally work on any man or woman. First find one you like for them. Not because they are hot, rich, or connected. But one you actually like to be around. Then talk openly and honestly with them. Mean what you say. Now here is the BIG secret: listen to them. Like actually hear what they are saying, then take that at face value and respect it. Don’t look for hidden meanings or games. Even if they are doing that, you don’t want them, so move on.

Bottom line: let integrity and honesty be your game plan and don’t let others treat you less than fabulous. Desperation will come through no matter how expertly crafted your text message.

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